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The Sorta Weird Diet Habits of Your Favorite Celebrities Slideshow

The Sorta Weird Diet Habits of Your Favorite Celebrities Slideshow


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Dreamstime

Celebrities always have their fashion choices, dating lives, and eating habits scrutinized. Can you blame us for wanting to know what these gorgeous and glam people eat?

Our morbid curiosity doesn’t go unrewarded. Celebrities have some weird and admittedly miserable-sounding habits when it comes to food. From Tom Brady’s TB12 Method to Khloe Kardashian’s fast-track to weight loss, those diets do not sound fun.

For these celebrities, money is usually no object; the sky’s the limit when it comes to their food spending. They can purchase high-quality ingredients or hire a private chef to cater meals to their liking. They also have access to ample professional advice — nutritionists and trainers will jump through hoops for the opportunity to represent a celebrity client.

Some of the advice they receive is a little strange. One celebrity on this list eats clay with her meals. Would you do it for a body like hers?

The effectiveness of these food choices and eating habits is debatable, but it’s hard to deny that these 12 celebrity diets are flat-out insane.

The Sorta Weird Diet Habits of Your Favorite Celebrities

Dreamstime

Celebrities always have their fashion choices, dating lives, and eating habits scrutinized. Would you do it for a body like hers?

The effectiveness of these food choices and eating habits is debatable, but it’s hard to deny that these 12 celebrity diets are flat-out insane.

Adriana Lima

Victoria’s Secret Angels are paid to look thin, but Adriana Lima takes her commitment to another level. Starting nine days prior to the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show, the Brazilian model eats only protein shakes, vitamins, and supplements, and keeps a team of nutritionists on hand to make sure that she’s getting adequate energy. During the rest of the year, Lima eats a portion-controlled diet, starting her days off with a big breakfast and slowly decreasing caloric intake as the day progresses.

Amanda Seyfried

Amanda Seyfried has blossomed into quite the Hollywood superstar, but the actress’s diet choices might make you say, “Mamma Mia!” She follows a humble diet of raw fruits and vegetables. Despite controversy over raw food diets, Seyfried has followed a strict regimen by avoiding anything cooked above 115 degrees Fahrenheit.

Beyoncé

If you’ve ever watched Beyoncé on stage, you know that she is quite the athlete. The superstar fuels up for her energetic performances by following an “80-10-10” diet — 80 percent carbohydrates, 10 percent fat, and 10 percent protein, as advised by her nutritionist, Marco Borges. In those 80 percent of carbohydrates, she includes staples like sweet potatoes and bread, but also has been spotted indulging in cupcakes after SoulCycle. Goals, am I right?

Donald Trump

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Roid_range:shutterstock

Whatever this man eats, it’s giving him bulk. The Rock is so huge that it seems as if just bumping into him would give you a dislocated shoulder. The Rock eats seven meals a day, which amount to around 5,000 calories. He is particularly fond of cod, a white fish rich in protein.

Fergie

s_bukley:shutterstock

Once the frontwoman for Black Eyed Peas, Fergie has since moved on to a successful solo career. Her diet appears just as pure as her vocal range. Fergie eats a six-egg omelette for breakfast, as well as two shots of apple cider vinegar, which she says aids with digestion. She eats a meal or snack every three hours and hardly eats any processed foods.

Hugh Jackman

If you’ve seen any of the X-Men movies, you’re probably familiar with Hugh Jackman in the role of the supermutant Wolverine. But all of those veins and muscles are no miracle of genetics — they’re the product of hours in the gym and a strict diet. Jackman has to follow a rigid eating regimen and workout routine to transform into a Wolverine-worthy body. He eats seven different meals each day, starting with a protein shake at 4 a.m. Afterward, he eats a meal every two to three hours, usually consisting of lean protein, whole grains, and vegetables.

Katie Holmes

Tinseltown:shutterstock

Katie Holmes looks as if she’s discovered the secret to eternal youth — and maybe she has. Her secret to a thin physique and youthful flow is eating raw, organic vegetables and avoiding fruits because of their high sugar content. When hungry, Holmes snacks on almonds, yams, and carrot soup.

Khloé Kardashian

Dreamstime

The Kardashians have gone to great lengths to maintain their figures, and Khloé is no exception. One of our editors attempted her extreme diet of smoothies and raw almonds last year and found it near impossible to stick to. Though, it’d probably easier if your job involved considerably less mental effort and a higher pay grade.

Kirsten Dunst

Andrea Ruffin: Shutterstock

The actress is a believer in the Alkaline Diet, which consists of almost entirely green vegetables. The diet attempts to eliminate all acid-forming foods such as meat, dairy, breads, and rice from the body in order to lose weight and prevent inflammation.

Mariah Carey

wikimedia

At 47 years old, pop music’s ultimate diva still looks fantastic, but her diet is definitely bizarre. Carey claims that she only eats Norwegian salmon and capers every day.

Rob Lowe

Dreamstime

This age-defying sitcom star has the face of a skincare model and the body of a mannequin. How does he do it? He goes Lowe-carb. The Atkins diet is Lowe’s regimen of choice, and it’s kept him looking young and feeling energized.

Shailene Woodley

Tinseltown: Shutterstock

The Secret Life star is naturally slender, but she adheres to a bizarre, homeopathic remedy to maintain her figure. Woodley adds a small amount of clay to her diet because she believes that it “provides a negative charge… and also cleans heavy metals out of your body.”

Tom Brady

Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots, is disciplined on and off the field, and his diet is reflective of his do-anything-to-win mentality. Brady’s diet consists of 80 percent organic vegetables and whole grains, while the other 20 percent is grass-fed meats. The super-athlete also eschews white sugar, white flour, canola oil, iodized salt, and nightshades such as tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, and eggplants. He even has a bizarre aversion to strawberries, because he thinks fruit has too much sugar.

One thing he will consume, though, is water. His water-drinking habits are extreme enough to kill an average person. How’s that for an extreme celebrity diet?

Michael Serrur and Holly Van Hare contributed to this roundup.


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25


10 reasons you’re not getting laid

View Gallery

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

10 Signs You’re Bad in Bed and Don’t E.

The truth hurts and so does leaving your partner hanging.

So why couldn’t you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, it’s surprisingly easy not to realize you’ve made a misstep. “Let’s face it: In a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’” says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

10 reasons you’re not getting laid

Close gallery popup button

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your “sweet” talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25

Your ego

“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29

Your late-night snack

“A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing’s less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it.” —Kristine, 30

Your trashy trash

“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn’t even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That’s when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30

Your (non-sex) toys

“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28

Your dog

“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29

Your cleaning habits

“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn’t find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28

Your kissing skills.

“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30

Your big mouth

“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30

Your body language

“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn’t think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off…everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25

Your "sweet" talk

“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds…‘I’m sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I’m interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25



Comments:

  1. Macduff

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  2. Gautier

    the choice is complicated for you

  3. Petrov

    What a fun question

  4. Redd

    confirm

  5. Ptah

    It is a pity that I will not be able to participate in the discussion now. Very little information. But I will be happy to follow this topic.



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